Fear of change? | 5 ways to overcome your fear

Have you ever been in a position where the only thing standing between you and what you want is fear?

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? ​

But I’m scared

Fear is a natural emotion and has served our ancestors since the dawn of human life. Built-in to our DNA, fear has been the safety mechanism that has ensured our survival for thousands of years. Without it, we would be oblivious to the dangers that surround us and, as Darwin would agree, we would be history.

Fear is also our first experience as children. Our parents, teachers, television and media program the idea of fear into us since birth. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to make sure little Jimmy doesn’t kill himself by eating Tide pods but teaching kids to be afraid of everything can result in muting the creative mind.

Don’t touch that!!! Be Careful!!! You’re going to hurt yourself!!

Our parents told us our whole lives not to do things because you will get hurt. We are taught to fear first and seek approval from those we trust on just about every action we take. Therefore, we inherently need outside reassurance on our decisions later in life, causing us to doubt our own abilities.

The problem is, fear also comes at some pretty inopportune times as well. Failing to recognize that can prevent us from taking everyday risks that may lead to a better life. This is well known as the “Flight of flight” response.

Fight or Flight

Fight or flight response, or acute stress response, occurs when a stressful situation triggers the sympathetic nervous system and adrenal-cortical glands to produce a burst of hormones including adrenaline and noradrenaline. This combination puts us at a heightened state, causing the heart to race, an increase of blood pressure to the muscles, causing them to tense and prepare to react. It also causes pupils to dilate and our skin to perspire.
The brain doesn’t know the difference between being chased by a pissed off grizzly bear or asking out your crush. It only knows how stressed you get about it. This is where your brain can fool you into throwing away the chance of a lifetime.

We all walk through life wearing a mask. This mask represents not how we perceive ourselves but how we choose to hide ourselves from others. If you were to ask just about anyone what they would do if they weren’t afraid, most people would have an answer, but would be too afraid to share it out of fear of judgment. 

Some people might even stay in a toxic relationship or possibly, they may decide to ask someone to marry them out of fear of being alone. Some may miss the opportunity to ask for that raise or promotion. Whatever it is, fear is the thing keeping it from you.

There’s always that one defining moment in every decision we make, where we let fear dictate our outcome. Only those who are willing to cross that line can reap the rewards. You’ve heard the saying, “No risk, no reward”? Well it’s true in nearly every decision you make.

So how do you overcome your fears and finally get what you want?

Here’s a few tips that can help you get past the dream killer.

1. Prepare 

Feeling good about yourself will come through in your body language, speech and attitude. In most cases, we know we are walking into a stressful situation before it happens. Take this as an opportunity to walk into it as the best you possible.

If you know you are going up against a stressful situation, start your day early and eat a healthy breakfast. This doesn’t mean a bowl of cereal. Eat some fruit and some sort of protein. Avoid caffeine if possible, unless you’re like me and that would cause stress on it’s own…
Exercise!

No, I don’t mean you have to hit the gym for 2 hours before work but try to go for a jog around the block. Or if you’re stuck at the house, challenge yourself to hit 20 good pushups and sit ups. Hell, do a couple lunges in the shower if it’s all you have time for. Just don’t skip it.

Hygiene!

Take a shower, because you probably stink now. Brush, floss and style your hair the way you feel most confident.

Dress to impress!

Even if you have nothing planned except running out to the store for string cheese, put on clothes you feel confident in. When they say, dress for success, there’s a reason. I am a firm believer in dressing for the life you want. The more confident you feel, the more relaxed you’re going to be in stressful situations. The next time you want a raise, walk in looking like you're the boss.

2. Picture yourself achieving your goal 

Before you walk into a situation, picture yourself succeeding at your goal. By mentally preparing yourself for success, you are much more likely to act relaxed in the moment. You will have already seen yourself do this a thousand times in your head so just do it one more time and you’re done.

Let your imagination show you the reward and you will be more likely to take the plunge and just go for it. 

3. Accept that failure is inevitable

Have you ever heard the saying, a master has failed more times than the student has tried? The only real failure is not learning from your experience. Each time you fail you learn something that will help you get closer to your goal, so don’t be afraid of a valuable learning experience. Remember to ask yourself, why didn’t that work? figure out what you did wrong and try something new. The only thing that’s insane, is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

​"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is ​always to try just one more time.” 

​– Thomas Edison

4. Courage only takes 4 seconds. 

You will undoubtedly spend much more time worrying about the outcome of a possible failure than you would spend regretting just taking the shot. The next time you are faced with a decision that scares the crap out of you, try taking a deep breath and step over the point of no return. 

Surprisingly, once you put yourself into a position where you can’t turn back, most of the fear is replaced with a sense of relief. You will find you no longer feel nearly as scared as soon as you start the ball rolling. The next time you want to do something, just do it and you’ll instantly feel better about the situation and yourself. Besides, it’s only one moment of millions.

5. Adjust your goals

​Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself or you’re sure to be let down. Rather than telling yourself you’ll be rich by the time you’re 30, try telling yourself that you want to establish your career by the time you’re 30. It is much more feasible and realistic to expect that you will settle into a good career by the ripe old age of 30. Once you are secure and happy doing what you love, you may decide that the money means less than you thought, or maybe that’s when you start making the big bucks.

Do everything in steps and don’t stop trying to move up from there. Even the people at the top started somewhere. Trying to change your mindset overnight isn’t sustainable but trying to be 1% better each day is.

The moral of the story

The only thing to fear is fear itself. Man, I wish I could take credit for that quote… Believe me when I say that every good thing I have achieved in my life was at one point or another, a goal that I was afraid to go after. I spent years failing before realizing that the one thing holding me back was being too scared to just try. I now have a wonderful life and am grateful for learning how to fight my fears.